cloister of trials

i’m thinking about books that i’ve loved (i’m thinking about tithe because i want to re-read it again even though i already read all three of them again over spring break) and it started out “i love these characters because they are flawed” but it’s a lot more than that - when you question whether you should be rooting for the character, but it’s so subtle that maybe you don’t do it until you’re halfway through the book or (like right now) you’ve already read the book like four times, you say, “is it good” and that’s different from “would i support it” because good is such an arbitrary and non-existent concept, to think about it, and to love a character so completely and want to emulate while also knowing that they are at least in part bad, the skill of an author that can do that, that can hold these characters so dear to them that they as the author can be faithful to those flaws which can be major (how sadistic and cruel and violent corny really is, but i never saw it until the last time i read it again because i loved him and pitied him - nietszche would be mad at me). that’s what i need to do i think about how real and how close and how material my characters are - well - i need to actively remain faithful to them, not just trust my judgment, and see their story in a way that i can do this and make you question